A Quarrel with Time.

Slow, shifting sands.

Over and above the fold, I look out

beyond the shadow wall.

I seek all that I don't find

and in the seeking I am forever unquenched.

My thirst growing by the minute.

Engulfing. Tranquil.

Dear time, my friend,

my foe, my hindrance.

I tremble when I am near you.

I scream silently when you are away.

You whisper sweet nonsense in my ear

and I melt in your dance.

Sweet yearning,

my comfort, my dignity.

Sing with me,

my sweet destruction.

I take each turn

and never leave the roundabout.

You are in the center

and I can't reach you.

Why do you fall?

Why does heaven not hold you?

Why are you here?

What do you whisper to me?

My longing.

My jailer.

Time.

Let's dance together.

I will step on your toes.

You will vanish in the night.

Sense and meaning and linear flow.

Curse it all.

For I am free.

I do not need your beat.

I have my own and it's jazz, baby.

It's jazz.

Jigsaw puzzle pieces flung off the table.

I do not care for it.

The order,

The lines,

The consistency,

The predictions.

I don't play that game.

They call me the great magician, for I rise at night

and do not sleep again until the day before yesterday.

I am not tired.

I am the chaos that would not listen.

I am the dots you couldn't connect.

I am the eternal now in drag.

Ride the train with me.

We are going nowhere.

We are now here.

Funny porcupine,

with your spiky little thorns.

I will have you for my pillow tonight.

I will sleep the most tranquil of sleeps

and in my dreams I will be hopping on fluffy clouds.

Stay with me,

my friend, my foe, my lover.

I do not know your end.

You cannot see me,

so just relax.

Unless you dissolve into the background.

How will I pull you out again?

In pieces.

In bits.

In atoms.

In petals.

Let's kiss.

I want to make you real.

I want you to transform into a frog at least.

Now you are everywhere,

but I can't hold your hand.

It's not fair I stand alone

when you are everywhere.

Are you laughing at me?

Or would you,

if you had lips to kiss me with?

I'm not going to wait forever.

At some point soon I will wake up

and you will disappear.

Then I will laugh at you

and you won't get a chance to kiss me.

Running in place,

up this wall.

I see it clearly now.

You.

You.

You.

You are me.

I am alone here,

or are we all together,

or is it all the same?

I will kiss my own lips

and I will not wake up,

for there is nothing waiting for me there.

It's all in here.

And I am home.

Here now.

Here now.

I hear you.

And it's jazz.